Asking for what you want is one of the simplest and most powerful success principles and yet, most underused. Why are so many people so afraid to ask for what they want? Usually, it’s because they are afraid to hear the word ‘no’. This lack of willingness to ask for what you want will hold you back from realizing the success you want in life. Getting a ‘no’ in response is no reason not to ask because it is a zero-risk strategy as you are no worse off than when you started if you get a ‘no’. This applies to whether you’re asking for information, help, a raise, time off to care for a sick relative or money for a start-up business. Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen wrote an entire book about how to ask called The Aladdin Factor. Listed below are a few tips from the book.
- Ask as if you expect to get it. Have a positive frame of mind when asking.
- Assume you can. Don’t start with the assumption that you won’t get it.
- Ask someone who can give it to you. Make sure the person is qualified to give you what you’re asking for.
- Be clear and specific. Vague requests will get vague responses that will likely require multiple follow-up questions.
- Ask repeatedly. Persistence is one of the most important principles of success. Children are excellent at this principle as they will ask the same person over and over again for what they want with out hesitation usually resulting in getting what they want.
This principle is so powerful because you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. You are risking more by not asking than you are by asking. Take the time to write a list of things you want that you don’t have at work, home, or school. Next to each one, write down how you stop yourself from asking. What is your fear? Next write down what it is costing you not to ask. Then write down the benefit(s) you would get if you were to ask. Use this process to get you beyond your fear and start asking. Don’t be afraid to be an “askhole” and you’ll realize more success in your life!
