Introduction
The purpose of this exercise is to have the participant reflect on their beliefs regarding the causes for when they don’t have the success they desire in their lives and making the changes needed to get there. This is best completed in pairs but can also be done with small groups of up to six participants. This is a good exercise after the participants have been exposed to the concept of taking 100% responsibility for their results and completed other introductory exercises.
Process
- Divide the participants in equal groups of two or three if necessary – have participants sit facing each other or in a circle if more than two participants in a group
- Instruct the participants to make “I can’t…” statements about circumstances in their life they aren’t happy with – this can be targeted for specific topics such as ‘what’s holding you back from losing weight, hitting sales goals or other relevant topics
- Demonstrate with a volunteer going back and forth
- Have the participants alternate back and forth for a minute and then stop
- Instruct the participants to switch to “I won’t…” statements using the same endings they used during the “I can’t…” round
- Continue for one minute and stop the activity
- Ask the participants to reflect on how it felt different between the two rounds – Ask a few participants to share their feelings with the group
- Instruct the participants to write down some of the “I cant’s” in their life and convert them to an “I will…” statement where they take responsibility for making an effective change to the circumstances
- Encourage them to write the “I will…” statements in positive future condition and not as a negative statement of what they don’t want
Example
First Round: “I can’t” lose weight
Second Round: “I won’t” lose weight
Final “I will” get to under 200 lbs. by exercising five times a week for 30 minutes and eating fast food only once per week (Not “I will” not be overweight…)
